Virgins Beware, It’s A Unicorn Lair
Thank you North Korea for bringing joy to my life. When ideas are hard to come by and the old grey matter fails me, never fear, North Korea is here. […]
Geeky Redcoat living in the US of A
Thank you North Korea for bringing joy to my life. When ideas are hard to come by and the old grey matter fails me, never fear, North Korea is here. […]
Thank you North Korea for bringing joy to my life. When ideas are hard to come by and the old grey matter fails me, never fear, North Korea is here.
North Korean state media has posted a story online announcing the glorious news that archeologists from the History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences have discovered the lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong.
King Tongmyong was credited with founding the Koguryo Kingdom in Korea that lasted from 277 BC to 668 AD, although quite where the unicorn riding came into things I’m unsure. The lair was discovered near a place ‘historically’ (by North Korean standards) associated with being a relief stop/fodder layover for the King and his unicorn(s).
The world has had to deal with a number of odd claims leaking out from North Korea, but even this one has left people scratching their heads. What on earth do they hope to achieve? Is it to make themselves seem more special? Because they’re honestly already considered pretty window-licking special by the majority of the world. Is it to subdue and smoosh the resistance of an already repressed and squished people? Because discovering a unicorn lair isn’t going to put any more food onto an already meager table.
Is it just me or does this ancient unicorn lair sign look pretty new, fabulous and laser cut? Doesn’t it also look like a fake scene prop from an original Star Trek or Power Rangers set?
It’s odd that some evil dictators spur the world into action and make all the self-proclaimed saviours hell bent on bringing relief and freedom to an oppressed people, however North Korea remain almost a comedic homage to how dictatorships are run, with occasionally releasing Kim Kardashian-esque attempts at courting media attention like announcing the discovery of an ancient unicorn lair, or building up an epic collection of weapons in various degrees of scary and threatening to unleash nuclear fury on the world, but then accepting much-needed aid from other countries in return for keeping the peace.
Isn’t this a bit like having an aggressive, hyperactive child running around Aunt Bessies’ house in a fury, threatening to smash up her collection of porcelain cats and clowns, and then giving the child more sugar and E-numbers in exchange for being good and sitting quietly for a few more minutes (until their next mental outburst)?
I can’t decide where to categorize this unicorn lair claim amongst an already impressive list of North Korean stories, so I leave it to you to decide where to personally rank it:
I simply can’t pick a favourite, they’re all so wonderful!